How do you overcome the pain and hurt from a rape experience?!
Question: How do you overcome the pain and hurt from a rape experience.?
I'm asking this from the point of someone who knows a loved one who has. Since it occurred I have had this paranoia about it reoccurring to people close to me. I haven't been able to cope with it as it grinds deep into my insecurities. Please share some thoughts.Health Question & Answer
Answers:
Go to: http://vaonlinesupport.org/support.html & http://www.rapevictimadvocates.org/ & http://www.rape-victim-support.com/ & http://www.rainn.org/ & http://www.aftersilence.org &
http://www.pandys.org & http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk Call (USA)1 800 656 HOPE and/or People Against Rape (USA) on 1 800 877 7252. View http://www.coolnurse.com/hotline.htm (US freecalls). Report the rape to the police as soon as possible: don't even shower (even though you may feel an overwhelming urge to clean yourself), and save all clothing, and anything else which may be contain DNA, or forensic clues. Many perpetrators are brought to justice this way, and removed from society, so that they can't inflict themselves on others.
An entry will be made in the sexual offenders computer database, so that anyone making a complaint in future will be believed. also, the fresher your memory of the events, and description, the better. It may help to have a friend, or relative with you, to provide support, at this time. The very fact that you have done all you can reasonably do, is often an important first step in the healing process.
You don't have to testify in court, if you don't want to. Your statement, the results of tests, etc., are often sufficient by themselves, but, if you are feeling able to cope, your testimony is often helpful to the prosecution, and personally cathartic, although many, quite understandably, prefer to avoid any additional stress. Depending on your area, there may be rape crisis centers, hotlines, or women's refuges/shelters where you can receive counselling. Some find further therapy helpful, later on. Be aware of the possibility of developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, as well. Flashbacks, nightmares, difficulty sleeping, and just staring blankly for long periods of time are some symptoms. For more PTSD info, treatments, and links, see http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris on pages 33 - 34.
Others said:
EDIT...There's something called "secondary wounding". Hope you haven't had to go thru it. It's like when you try to talk to people about it and they don't believe you or say it was your fault or say "I believe YOU believe it happened." ie..they don't believe it. Get you some books from the library. Be careful about who you tell.
EDIT...I think there's a rape crisis phone number you can call.HERE IT IS.. You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), or you can search for your local rape crisis center.Or GOOGLE :RAINN for more info. Find the nearest rape crisis center and go see them. They are experienced and will understand and help you through this.
Find a counselor, a support group, someone trained to assist rape victims. You're right, sometimes it's not enough just to talk about it, but if you talk about it with a counselor or someone who's trained to help rape victims or even other rape victims who have been helped by a counselor, they will know how to really hear what you are saying and they will know what to say back. Most people don't get what it means to be raped. They think it's just that someone forced sex onto you. Please, look for womens health, women's advocacy, something along those lines in your area. If you don't find what you need, I bet what you find will know where to send you. I wish you well, and if you need help finding support, please contact me and I will help you.
Being a rape survivor I found the best way to deal with it was to talk about it and to find a rape survivors group and talk to them. Most big hospitals have them and if you're in small town there are rape survivors groups on line. I know that it's hard but you have to remember that it's not your fault. The only person that's to blame is the person who perpetrated the assault. Other than the death of someone you love this might be the hardest thing that you have to deal with. I know that it's very hard but it can be done I know I've done it. Reach out for all the support that you can get and don't not talk about it. You will never forget it, but you can learn to live with it and be happy again. It will take time and energy but It can be done. Good luck and if you need someone to talk to email me.
This helped me. Write a letter to the perpetrator. Start with just the facts what happened 2nd how it made you feel then last what you would like to do to him/them(you know what I mean). Put it away and take it out and read it once and awhile until it makes you so sick you can't even read it any more. It is now time to get rid of this part of you life and move on. You can get rid of it anyway you'd like. I'm going to burn mine. I'm going to go to the closest spot to where it happened and burn it. I think the best part of it all is when you write what you would do to them. I hope this helps and be strong. It wasn't your fault.
Health Question & Answer
http://www.pandys.org & http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk Call (USA)1 800 656 HOPE and/or People Against Rape (USA) on 1 800 877 7252. View http://www.coolnurse.com/hotline.htm (US freecalls). Report the rape to the police as soon as possible: don't even shower (even though you may feel an overwhelming urge to clean yourself), and save all clothing, and anything else which may be contain DNA, or forensic clues. Many perpetrators are brought to justice this way, and removed from society, so that they can't inflict themselves on others.
An entry will be made in the sexual offenders computer database, so that anyone making a complaint in future will be believed. also, the fresher your memory of the events, and description, the better. It may help to have a friend, or relative with you, to provide support, at this time. The very fact that you have done all you can reasonably do, is often an important first step in the healing process.
You don't have to testify in court, if you don't want to. Your statement, the results of tests, etc., are often sufficient by themselves, but, if you are feeling able to cope, your testimony is often helpful to the prosecution, and personally cathartic, although many, quite understandably, prefer to avoid any additional stress. Depending on your area, there may be rape crisis centers, hotlines, or women's refuges/shelters where you can receive counselling. Some find further therapy helpful, later on. Be aware of the possibility of developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, as well. Flashbacks, nightmares, difficulty sleeping, and just staring blankly for long periods of time are some symptoms. For more PTSD info, treatments, and links, see http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris on pages 33 - 34.
Others said:
EDIT...There's something called "secondary wounding". Hope you haven't had to go thru it. It's like when you try to talk to people about it and they don't believe you or say it was your fault or say "I believe YOU believe it happened." ie..they don't believe it. Get you some books from the library. Be careful about who you tell.
EDIT...I think there's a rape crisis phone number you can call.HERE IT IS.. You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), or you can search for your local rape crisis center.Or GOOGLE :RAINN for more info. Find the nearest rape crisis center and go see them. They are experienced and will understand and help you through this.
Find a counselor, a support group, someone trained to assist rape victims. You're right, sometimes it's not enough just to talk about it, but if you talk about it with a counselor or someone who's trained to help rape victims or even other rape victims who have been helped by a counselor, they will know how to really hear what you are saying and they will know what to say back. Most people don't get what it means to be raped. They think it's just that someone forced sex onto you. Please, look for womens health, women's advocacy, something along those lines in your area. If you don't find what you need, I bet what you find will know where to send you. I wish you well, and if you need help finding support, please contact me and I will help you.
Being a rape survivor I found the best way to deal with it was to talk about it and to find a rape survivors group and talk to them. Most big hospitals have them and if you're in small town there are rape survivors groups on line. I know that it's hard but you have to remember that it's not your fault. The only person that's to blame is the person who perpetrated the assault. Other than the death of someone you love this might be the hardest thing that you have to deal with. I know that it's very hard but it can be done I know I've done it. Reach out for all the support that you can get and don't not talk about it. You will never forget it, but you can learn to live with it and be happy again. It will take time and energy but It can be done. Good luck and if you need someone to talk to email me.
This helped me. Write a letter to the perpetrator. Start with just the facts what happened 2nd how it made you feel then last what you would like to do to him/them(you know what I mean). Put it away and take it out and read it once and awhile until it makes you so sick you can't even read it any more. It is now time to get rid of this part of you life and move on. You can get rid of it anyway you'd like. I'm going to burn mine. I'm going to go to the closest spot to where it happened and burn it. I think the best part of it all is when you write what you would do to them. I hope this helps and be strong. It wasn't your fault.
Health Question & Answer
You start by reporting the assault to the police and getting emergency evaluation and treatment at the hospital. You seek the support of family and friends and take advantage of any professional help such as that from a rape trauma center. You take a class in self-defense, which will teach you much more than putting up a physical resistance - like how to recognize and avoid compromising situations. And you accept that most of us men deplore such hideous contempt for women and would offer you our love and support as you struggle with that dreadful experience. Not even the nastiest of women deserves to be raped.Health Question & Answer
I'm sorry that happened to your loved one. Your paranoia will most likely go away in time but if you like you could talk to a counsellor about it. The main thing is to be there for the person who has been raped, encourage them to talk to you about their own fears and insecurities. Is the person in therapy.? Or a support group.? Health Question & Answer
First, yes, rape can affect those in the rape victim's life. Your loved one is probably feeling many confusing emotions if the rape was recent. If it's been a while and the person hasn't dealt with it, she (.?) might have a lot of anger and negativity.
Yes, it could happen to you or someone else you love, but people can take measures to possibly prevent rape.
http://christianteens.about.com/od/advic...
http://www.namb.net/site/c.9qKILUOzEpH/b...
You do not have to live in fear. Be aware of your surroundings. If someone seems creepy or something about a situation doesn't feel right, trust your gut and get away quickly. You can learn self defense. If you drink, never drink to the point of being drunk because alcohol has the potential to lead to a rape situation. If you and your loved ones are informed you might have better chances of avoiding rape. It's also important to know how to help someone who's been raped. If you can't do anything else, believe the person and listen. If the person asks for advice be careful what you say. If you just don't know what to say, it's ok to say so, but encourage that person to keep talking about it. Don't let your emotions get in the way. Deal with them when you leave that person. Before you leave, make sure the person isn't suicidal. It's good to have a list of rape, suicide, depression, and PTSD hotlines and websites for the person.
"There is a ripple effect when someone is raped. It affects not only the initial person but partners, family, and friends, sometimes even total strangers can be affected in ways they never imagined.
There will most likely be some changes taking place in your relationship. This is natural. You may wonder what happened to your thoughts and feelings about what happened or feel as if you must carry the burden of taking care of the survivor on your own.
If this happens, it is important for you to get support for yourself. This may mean turning to a close and trusted friend, seeking a support group from your local rape crisis center or seeing a therapist yourself. This doesn't mean that you are a weak person for falling back on these resources. That is why these resources are out there to begin with." http://www.geocities.com/hotsprings/2402...
You need to take care of your emotional needs. Be supportive. Encourage the victim to go for counseling. There are measures a person can take to heal. There's no one way that works for everyone all the time. That's why it's good to have an arsenal of tools.
positive self talk
counseling
prayer and faith
talking to trusted, supportive, nonjudgmental people
outlets for emotions--art, dance, music, exercise, sports, journaling, long walks, etc.
time alone to think and feel and also time to stay too busy to think
http://www.ibiblio.org/rcip/copingskills...
http://www.wikihow.com/Cope-with-Rape-Re...
"Healing is a continuous process. Sometimes a struggle. Rape affects all parts of one's life and being, and one has to work continually to become whole and intact." http://www.survivingtothriving.org/heali...
how to help a survivor:
http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/2656...
http://www.ibiblio.org/rcip//helpasurviv...
possible effects of rape:
http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/2656...
http://www.ibiblio.org/rcip//effectsofra...Health Question & Answer
Yes, it could happen to you or someone else you love, but people can take measures to possibly prevent rape.
http://christianteens.about.com/od/advic...
http://www.namb.net/site/c.9qKILUOzEpH/b...
You do not have to live in fear. Be aware of your surroundings. If someone seems creepy or something about a situation doesn't feel right, trust your gut and get away quickly. You can learn self defense. If you drink, never drink to the point of being drunk because alcohol has the potential to lead to a rape situation. If you and your loved ones are informed you might have better chances of avoiding rape. It's also important to know how to help someone who's been raped. If you can't do anything else, believe the person and listen. If the person asks for advice be careful what you say. If you just don't know what to say, it's ok to say so, but encourage that person to keep talking about it. Don't let your emotions get in the way. Deal with them when you leave that person. Before you leave, make sure the person isn't suicidal. It's good to have a list of rape, suicide, depression, and PTSD hotlines and websites for the person.
"There is a ripple effect when someone is raped. It affects not only the initial person but partners, family, and friends, sometimes even total strangers can be affected in ways they never imagined.
There will most likely be some changes taking place in your relationship. This is natural. You may wonder what happened to your thoughts and feelings about what happened or feel as if you must carry the burden of taking care of the survivor on your own.
If this happens, it is important for you to get support for yourself. This may mean turning to a close and trusted friend, seeking a support group from your local rape crisis center or seeing a therapist yourself. This doesn't mean that you are a weak person for falling back on these resources. That is why these resources are out there to begin with." http://www.geocities.com/hotsprings/2402...
You need to take care of your emotional needs. Be supportive. Encourage the victim to go for counseling. There are measures a person can take to heal. There's no one way that works for everyone all the time. That's why it's good to have an arsenal of tools.
positive self talk
counseling
prayer and faith
talking to trusted, supportive, nonjudgmental people
outlets for emotions--art, dance, music, exercise, sports, journaling, long walks, etc.
time alone to think and feel and also time to stay too busy to think
http://www.ibiblio.org/rcip/copingskills...
http://www.wikihow.com/Cope-with-Rape-Re...
"Healing is a continuous process. Sometimes a struggle. Rape affects all parts of one's life and being, and one has to work continually to become whole and intact." http://www.survivingtothriving.org/heali...
how to help a survivor:
http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/2656...
http://www.ibiblio.org/rcip//helpasurviv...
possible effects of rape:
http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/2656...
http://www.ibiblio.org/rcip//effectsofra...Health Question & Answer