How can I get over my need for constant reasurrance and stop pushing people away?!


Question: How can I get over my need for constant reasurrance and stop pushing people away.?
When I was 11 my dad cheated on my mom, and I haven't really been able to get over it and trust anyone. My parents stayed married, and it took me years to even be able to care for my dad again.. and they don't know I know. I'm assuming this is my reason for trust issues and all that stuff. When I'm in a relationship (like I currently am), I need to constantly be assured I'm loved and complimented. My boyfriend isn't really the type to do that, sure he tells me he loves me and whatnot, but just because I'm not constantly being reminded how much he cares for me I feel as if he doesn't. He realizes I have trust issues, and I love him for being able to put up with that. As soon as he's not.. I don't want to say perfect but if things don't go according to plan or something, I subconsciously start pushing him away; I get angry at him and sometimes say things I regret, which makes me feel bad about myself.. I'm starting to trust him but it's really hard, even innocent things he does, like missing my call or talking to girls at work, makes me suspicious. Can someone please give me some advice on this, I'm sick of getting mad at him when I know I shouldn't, and I hate feeling sad because he hasn't called me or complimented me. I'm not sure if it's what my dad did that's making me like this, or the fact that I'm really insecure (I was made fun of in middle school and I can't seem to get over that either).Health Question & Answer


Answers:
I have the exact same problem. About 2 years ago I was diagnosed with BDD and Social Anxiety. I have tried a lot of different things like medication, breathing exercises. What is really helping me now is this self-help cognitive behaviour therapy course I am working on. Basically its just critical thinking. Not being irrational (i.e. just because something doesn't go as planned doesn't mean my bf doesn't love me.) When you start to feel insecure, etc. just relax and think things through, or even talk to your bf about it.Health Question & Answer



The consumer health information on youqa.cn is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007-2012 YouQA.cn -   Terms of Use -   Contact us

Health Q&A Resources